


The Day Peter Met His Adopted Siblings.

by TheatricallyColorful



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Amazing Spider-Man (2012), The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bitchy!Sleipnir, Domestic Avengers, Established Relationship, Gen, Hipster!Jormungand, M/M, Mischievous!Fenrir, Multi, Peter meets his adopted brothers and sister, Smartass Family, Snarky!Hela, Terrified!Peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 02:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/657000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatricallyColorful/pseuds/TheatricallyColorful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter meets Loki's other children, and he's kinda, no scratch that, really terrified.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Day Peter Met His Adopted Siblings.

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a need I got from Tumblr.

Bruce is nothing but amused when Peter runs into the common room, arms flailing about, and the most terrified expression on his face.

"Tell them I didn't mean it, Uncle Bruce!" he whispers, hiding behind the couch. "Tell them I didn't mean it..."

Tony saunters in, closely followed by Loki. He notes the identically mischievous smirks on both their faces and mentally braces himself for whatever the two has planned for their unlucky son today.

"Hey Bruce," Tony greets him, shit-eating grin in place and hands shoved comfortably in his pockets. Loki nods affably at him and he thinks,  _There is something really wrong with this picture. Really, really wrong._

"Have you seen Peter by any chance?" Loki purrs, and Peter bleats out a tiny, terrified meep from his hiding place behind the couch. Bruce rolls his eyes and replies, "He's behind the couch and he says he didn't mean it, whatever it is."

Tony grins even wider, and Bruce swears the couch is shaking. "Peter, stop hiding!" Loki chides, pulling Peter up from behind by his collar, like a kitten hanging from his mother's mouth by his scruff. Peter looks like a terrified, drowned cat.

"What's the matter?" Steve asks, striding in the common room, rolling an apple between his hands. Peter lets out a squeak. "Uncle Steve! Convince them it's a bad idea! It's the worst idea in history! I'd probably end up a speck floating in space!" Peter hollers, fidgeting and flailing half out of his shirt, still dangling in mid-air by Loki's fingers.

"What's a bad idea?" Steve asks suspiciously, looking at Tony, then at Loki, then back to Tony again. Tony laughs. "Peter made a little joke about meeting his adopted siblings, and Loki thought it was a good idea, so today we're taking him to meet his other siblings," he says cheerfully.

Peter mutters, "It was a joke for a reason!" Natasha and Clint enter together, glancing curiously at Peter dangling by Loki's fingers momentarily, before deciding it wasn't worth asking about. Much.

"What's happening?" Natasha asks, swiping Steve's apple, and taking a bite out of it.

"We're taking Petey to visit Loki's kids," Tony tells them happily with a grin. Natasha's face smoothens out into a pokerface and Clint's jaw slackens in surprise. 

Everyone (except Loki, Tony and Peter) still remembers that one time they visited the Tower, and they chaotic aftermath that ensued.

"Good luck with that, kid," Clint says uneasily and slips out the common room as fast as his master assassin skills can take him. Natasha follows suit.

Peter makes a distressed sound. "Why'd Uncle Clint say that, Dad?" he asks Loki, eyes wide with trepidation. "Oh Christ, why'd he ask that, Dad?" He's panicking now, flailing even more and Loki sets him down on the floor gently.

"I wouldn't know," Loki sniffs. Bruce smothers a laugh.

"Dress up, kiddo! We have realms to visit," Tony orders his sons with a clap of his hands and a wide grin. This was going to be  _fun._

Peter's face should not have been so funny to watch, Steve reflects later, but it really was.

Peter flees to his room, half-afraid and half-excited.

He shoots a critical look at his wardrobe and sighs at himself.  _What am I doing with my life?_

He settles for a gray shirt, and the first hoodie he snatches up from the mess of his closet, and makes his way to the common room.

Bruce takes one look at him, and valiantly smothers a laugh. Clint passes by, shooting a look at him, and cracks up laughing. Natasha smiles in amusement and Steve has the grace to tell him, "Peter, you're wearing the  _Daddy's Favorite Spider_ hoodie again," he laughs goodnaturedly. 

Peter's face contorts into something similar to horror, and runs back to his room, only to bump into Loki, clad in a bright green turtleneck and black pants, while Tony behind him is wearing an AC/DC shirt and his homing bracelets. Loki stops him with a bracing hand on his shoulders. "Where are you going, Peter? We have to leave now," Loki frowns, not noticing Peter's closet malfunction  _just yet._

Tony does, however, smothering a snort with his palm.

Peter doesn't think it can get worse. But he secretly thinks the universe is screwing with him, and is gonna make it  _even worse._

Loki notices the hoodie and affixes him with a whimsical grin. "Aww, I was not aware my son was proud of being  _Daddy's Little Spider_ so much," Loki teases and Tony laughs, sliding an arm around his husband's waist. Peter blushes a mortified red, and mumbles something about a closet malfunction, thank you very much.

"No time to change!" Tony declares gleefully, and takes Peter's arm. "Loki, babe, if you will." Loki nods with a fond smile at his two boys, and teleports them into the first of his children's dwellings, the oceans of Midgard where Jormungard circled about.

Peter fulls the pull in his gut, the swirl of the wind around him, and the blur of colors, smells, and sensations, melthing into something entirely different. 

He's facing the ocean, the smell of the salty brine assailing his nose, and the wind whipping around him, Tony beside him and Loki already striding towards the shore, probably excited to see his son again. 

He sees a head emerging from the waves, and his face goes from where-the-heck-am-I to  _omg what is that._

Let Peter tell you this:  _Jormungand is fucking huge._

Peter feels small, insignificant, which he probably is, as Tony nudges him forward, and he emits a tiny squeak below the radar, and ambles towards Loki and Jormungand, who are chatting airily, Loki with a fond smile and Jormungand with something that might be a smile, all sharp teeth and shining scales.

"Peter, this is Jormungand, the Midgard Serpent. Jor, this is Peter, otherwise known by the Midgardians as Spiderman. You remember Tony, son?" Loki makes the introductions and Peter deflates a little bit. See, Jormungand has a pretty awesome name. He probably terrorized villagers for fun.  _He must be the fucking Loch Ness, Jesus Christ._   _  
_

"Spiderman? The dude in spandex?" Jor rumbles and Peter turns a mortified pink. "Yeah," he admits shamefacedly. Tony bellows out a laugh. "How'd you know about that, Jor?" he asks goodnaturedly. Jor replies with a rumbling chuckle (totally not terrifying, with the water shaking), "I know about Midgardian culture, Tony. Or should I call you Dad?" Tony beams and nods. "Can't wait to put this on my Twitter, mind you," Peter thinks he hears from the Serpent and he realizes with dawning horror that  _Jor must be a fucking hipster._

Loki notices the expression on Peter's face and tells Jor, "Jor, would you mind shifting into human? I think you've scared Peter into silence. Peter lets out a sound of protest as Jormungand seems to melt, and lo and behold, a true hipster is striding out of the water, unscathed and dry.

Jor the human wears Raybans that conquer half of his face, a tight abstractly designed shirt, and even tighter pants. His Toms are red as bricks, and his styled black hair is half-covered by a gray beanie. He flashes a grin at Peter who feels really faint and accidentally blurts out, "Holy shit, you're pretty hipster." Jor laughs, the deep man laugh kind, and replies in his deep man voice, "Thanks, man."

He tries not to shake as Jor continues, " _Silencio_ got your tongue?" with a smug grin and Tony's laughing too hard to help him out because  _his adopted sibling the Midgard Serpent is a hipster._ "Sorry dude," he manages. "It's just kinda hard to cope with, seeing as Dad himself doesn't use pop culture references much." Jor nods. "No harm, no foul," he says with a grin.

Peter nods. "Nice meeting you, man." Jor nods, and asks, "Hey, can I get a pic or two with you?" He whips out a smartphone from nowhere and beckons to Peter. "I wanna put this on my Instagram."  _Jesuuuuus Christ._ Tony frowns, and remarks, "That'd better be a Starkphone kid, or I'll have to revoke your hipstering privileges."

Peter flinches as he walks to Jor's side because, good Lord, what alternate dimension has he entered? Jor replies with a lazy, unrepetant, "Sorry Dad, it's an iPhone. Send me one and I'll throw this away," and snaps the picture. Peter's face is frozen in a fake grin as he steps out of Jor's personal space.

"We have to go now, Jor, see you again?" he offers, shooting a _please?_ glance at his two fathers, who nod. "We have to meet your other siblings," Loki tells hims sadly and captures the serpent in a hug. Jor nods solemnly, leaning into his father's touch, and tells Peter, "If you ever need my help, brother, run to any water source, and my aid will come." Peter nods, a little touched and a little awkward.

"And if, you uh, need my help on land, holler Spiderman and I'll be on my way," he replies awkwardly. Jor nods.

Tony gathers them in a group hug. "See you again sometime Jor. Drop by the Tower everyone once in a while," he mutters. Jor beams creepily as Peter's squished between Loki's back, tangled in Jor's arms, and pressed against Tony's arc reactor. They let go, and depart for Fenrir's hangout. "Greet my siblings for me!" Jor bids them and Peter nods. That much, at least, he can give with confidence to his hipster brother.

Loki wraps his arms around Tony and Peter, and teleports them to the island where Odin banished Fenrir to dwell. Or to stay in. Whatever.

There's that familiar tug on his bellybutton again, propelling him forward, warping his surroundings as if in a bad van Gogh painting, the sudden loss of sound and the sturdy slam of his feet on the ground.

The first thing Peter notices is his Uncle Thor, and that Uncle Thor's glorious blond locks (sung about in the halls of Asgard as the greatest mane a hero could ever possess)  _is on fire._ A great wolf is rolling around on the ground beside Thor, barking out unbroken, wolfy laughter. Thor is screeching, "Fenrir!  _Stop setting me on fire whenever I visit you!"_ The wolf gives his new visitors a wide grin.

Peter half breaks in a cold sweat.  _Trouble, trouble, trouble, oh!_ Now is not the time to quote Taylor Swift songs, but Fenrir looks mighty mischievous.

Loki lets out a sound of amusement, and with a wave of his fingers, Thor's hair is extinguished and back to its glossy blondeness. "Thank you brother," Thor sighs in relief, hands on his knees, breathing deeply. "Fenrir proves too exciteable for even me, at times," Thor admits.

Fenrir is a huge midnight black wolf, with shiny teeth and a pink tongue lolling out. Years of living with Loki has him bracing; that glint in his eyes surely means mischief.

"Fenrir!" Loki cries joyously, and pushes Thor away to hug his huge kid wolf. Thor rolls away sadly in the other direction. The wolf nuzzles his father happily, licking his face from forehead to chin as Loki laughs. Peter pulls a face and Tony nudges him reprovingly, but they both come to a silent agreement:  _Yep, that's nasty._

"Fen, this is my son Peter, and my spouse Tony. Peter, this is Fenrir, the Great Wolf," Loki introduces his son. Tony and Peter wave at the wolf. "What's up?" Peter asks wearily, anticipating another hipster or something worse.

The wolf barks at him, grinning wolfishly. "Jor sends you his regards," Peter remembers, and Fenrir nods. Fenrir sticks out a paw for Tony to shake, and Tony takes it with little hesitation. Fenrir shakes it and flips Tony over to the ground, licking his face enthusiastically. Tony laughs, trying to keep his mouth closed so Fenrir doesn't slip his tongue in.

Loki sighs happily. "I love how my children adapt so quickly," he remarks with a smile, wrapping an arm around Peter's shoulders.

Fenrir bounds over to him and licks at his face as well, smelling like wet dog, his hot tongue rolling over Peter's face. It could be better, yeah.

"Nice to meet you too," he gasps.

Fenrir grins and morphs on top of his body to a lean, lanky teenager a little like him, with floppy black hair and warm green eyes. "Hey there," he yips.

Peter is too stunned to reply, seeing as his brother is kind of naked.

Loki shakes his head and pulls his sons up and summons up some clothes for Fen.

Peter will never see Fen again in the same way.

_Dear Lord._ He's only met two out of four kids, and all he wants to do now is go home.

"So babe," Tony begins casually. "Where d'you think this place is? You think Fen would have any reception here, or if Fed Ex could ship your kid here the full Stark experience?" Tony smiles charmingly, pulling Fen up on his feet and dusting off the  _Loki'd!_ shirt. Loki rolls his eyes playfully, nudging his husband. "Always the show off," he scolds jokingly and replies. "But I suppose so. Any of the nine realms have stellar reception, although I have my doubts if Fed Ex can go this far."

Fen looks up at Tony with a sweet, disarming smile and puppy-dog eyes. "What's the full Stark experience?"

Tony smiles back at him, Fen just a little taller than him and huffs in affront. "Everything a gadget whore needs, son." Loki's hand reach out faster than a normal human's would, but Peter's Spidey senses zing! and warn him of Loki's hand sweeping, or rather cutting through the air, palming the back of Tony's head with the precision of Uncle Clint and his arrows. "No such words around my son!" he scolds and Tony rubs the back of his head sheepishly. "Oops, babe?"

Loki rolls his eyes. "Don't do that again, or you'll sleep next to Peter for three days," he threatens and Peter swears he sees his Pops flinch. Hey, he isn't that bad of a bedmate! 

Tony replies, "Yes, honey. See, Fen, isn't your Dad fantastic and loving and compassionate and merciful and gorgeous?"

Fen ponders a moment. "I suppose so, Dad."

Thor is back, shaking off dirt his red cape and running a hand through his hair in frustration. Peter takes the moment to marvel at his uncle's superb hair styling.

"Well Fen, it was nice seeing you, but we have to see Hela and Sleipnir next," Loki says apologetically, and Fen nods. "It's fine, Father. So Tony, I shall be expecting that full Stark experience, right? And I shall call you Dad from here on." Tony nods with a fond smile, and momentarily Peter smiles at the picture. His Pops has just gained two more kids to his one.

"See you around Fen!" he calls out. "Howl if you need my help, little spider!" Fenrir howls himself with a grin. Peter blushes pink as he remembers his hoodie. Ah, damn the world.

"I'll be in Midgard if you need me!" he replies as Loki transports them to Helheim, his only sister's domain, leaving Uncle Thor still with Fenrir.

This time the scenery swirls to somber grays and blacks, blue shadows morphing in and out of vision creepily. It's the bite of the chill that has him jumping.

 

He gulps, because it feels completely  _devoid_ of life.

A fascinatingly beautiful woman greets them. Wrapped in a green and black sweeping cloak, (kinda like Dad's Asgardian outfit) and long black hair, and skin that constantly turns blue to fair, and fair to blue again. Ridges curl in and out of her face, and underneath the cloak she wears a skimpy one piece chick dominatrix outfit, that must have Loki seeing red, because his eyes does go red, and he hisses at Hela, "Hela, clothe yourself appropriately."

She complies with a flick of her wrists, and her dominatrix outfit glows black and green to turn into an Asgardian dress in (what else?) green and black.

"Yes, Father," she intones dutifully, and Peter shivers, cause _ho shit it's really really cold here._ Loki relaxes and gestures to the two Midgardians behind him. "Hela, my son Peter, or Spiderman, and my spouse, Tony, or Iron Man." She sweeps a glance at them, unimpressed. They both fidget in their place in true father-son harmony.

"Yes, I have seen them once or twice, destined for Valhalla," she remarks coolly. Loki turns to introduce Hela to them. "Boys, Hela, my daughter, Queen of Helheim. The realm of the dead." They nod together and Peter pipes up, "Jor sends his regards." Hela smiles slightly and nods. 

"So, how do you do, little spider?" she smirks and Peter curses internally.  _This goddamned hoodie!_

"Um, I'm doing good, I guess." He shuffles around and scratches the back of his neck, hates the way the he sounds so fucking awkward.

"I wouldn't think so," she sniggers. "You are in the realm of the dead, and still as awkward as the day you were born." Peter goes a flame red and Tony steps in front of him, slightly braced in a defensive position.

"I'd prefer it if you would be a little snarky with my kid," Tony warns and Hela raises an eyebrow, perfectly executed, probably passed on from her father with little interference.

"Tell me why I shouldn't poke fun at the little spider," she pouts, crossing her arms. "Is it because his intellect can't handle it?" Tony smirks. "Oh honey, if his intellect can't handle shit from you, then I'd better fear for Midgard, because there is a helluva lot more dumbasses than him," he grins.

"Are you included with those people?" she asks mildly. "I've seen you on the way to Valhalla or here so many times you must greatly desire to meet me," she smiles cockily. Tony tsks. "I knew you were Loki's kid," he says reprovingly.

Loki bursts in the conversation, "Stop the snarking already! I wish you would get along." He glares at them all maternally and they all fidget, even Hela fidgets the tiniest bit.

"Sorry," they mutter. Loki beckons to Hela. "I need to talk to you," he says meaningfully.

Loki takes her to the side to talk privately for a moment, and Tony and Peter take the chance to explore Helheim. "Creepy," Peter remarks, and Tony fingers a stalactite thoughtfully.

Loki and Hela pull away from their discussion, and Loki says, "We have to hurry whilst the Allfather is otherwise occupied, boys. It will do no good to visit Sleipnir without Odin distracted. Goodbye Hela," he gives her a kiss and the two wave goodbye in relief as Loki shouts, "Heimdall, open the Bifrost!"

Hela waves goodbye and says, "Bye bye, little spider," with a smirk. "Bye bye, daddy. I'll see you soon."

Asgard is shinier than expected as Peter squints. "So. Much. Glitter. Eyes. Buuuuurn."

Tony laughs and Heimdall coughs. "Welcome, Prince Loki, as well as Anthony and Peter of Midgard." Loki nods, and teleports them to the royal stables, where the guards don't even start at the poof and Loki's sudden appearance. He strides in, dragging Tony and Peter by the wrists to a stall larger than the others.

In the stall is Loki's last child, Sleipnir, the Eight-Legged Horse.

Peter takes in a deep breath.

"Hi," he meeps.

Sleipnir brays.

Loki says, "Sleipnir, darling, this is my son Peter and my spouse Tony. Boys, this is Sleipnir." Tony waves awkwardly and Peter passes on Jor's greeting to the horse, only to hear a voice in his head.

_Thank you brother. I am Sleipnir, the royal steed of Odin._

"Nice meeting you," Peter manages.

Sleipnir nods and brays.

_Nice meeting you as well, pathetic Midgardian._  

Peter protests, "Hey, I'm not pathetic! I'm a superhero in Midgard!"

_Of course, of course, silly little brother. Whatever you say._

Peter glares at the horse childishly and momentarily contemplates telling on Sleipnir. _Telling on him, seriously Parker? How childish can you get?_

_I believe you can be the silliest, immature Midgardian who has ever stepped in this stable of mine._

Peter narrows his eyes and glares even more. "Stop that!" he flails in irritation.

_I don't feel like it._

"Bitch," Peter mutters.

_Last I checked, I was neither female nor dog._

Peter flails. Loki chuckles.

Tony introduces himself, but Peter's not paying any attention. Sleipnir's mental visit has drained him. He thinks sleepily,  _boy, all that interrealm travel sure can drain a guy,_ before passing out in Loki's arms.

He dreams of hipster serpents, mischievous wolves, snarkily cold queens of the dead and a telepathic horse.

"That went well," Tony says mildly.

**Author's Note:**

> Edited, because someone said it was a little rushed :)


End file.
